Best of the Worst Sex Scene Contest Entry: by C J Laurence #cravepub #amreading #amwriting

DID YOU KNOW...What is this contest about? Have you ever read a sex scene that was so awful, you were laughing on the floor? If your answer is yes, do you think you can write one that’s worse? We mean better. No, that’s not right. Cheesier. Funnier. That’s it!

So without further ado, behold our sixth entry. To vote for this entry, please leave a comment on this blog post.

Reader Discretion Advised. Please read on if you dare.

Sex Scene Entry

by C J Laurence


Yeah, she wants me. I can feel it. Her eyes are roving up and down my fine form; I just know she’s mentally undressing me. My dick twitches in my pants. I want her. I can almost feel her smooth skin in my hands. I’m grabbing her hips, watching her on top of me. Her face is screwed up with pleasure. Her moans are loud. She’s enjoying herself; I can tell. Her tits are bouncing up and down with each move she makes. Her juices are dripping down my shaft, telling me how excited I’ve made her. God, I’m the man.

The more she moves, the more I struggle to hold back from firing my load into her. Fuck, she wants it though. I wanna fill her up and watch it stream out of her nose. I wanna see her choke on my lovestick. No woman can deep throat me; I’m way too big, but that don’t mean I don’t wanna see myself in her mouth, her cute wet lips wrapped around my John Thomas.

I flip her over and have her from behind. Nothing like hanging out the back of a gorgeous woman who is begging and screaming for more. I pound into her, flesh slapping against flesh. My balls are swinging and hitting her clit with each powerful thrust I give her. I’m covered in sweat but the sight of her face down ass up is just too good to leave.

My moment comes quicker than expected. All too soon, I’m crippled over, groaning as my white-hot semen pumps into her. My bell end throbs, sensitive from its unload. I don’t wanna pull out of her pretty pussy, all dripping wet and moist with both of our juices, but I’m flopping quicker than normal.



I can see him across the bar, staring at me. He keeps licking his lips and looking up and down my body. The haze over his eyes tells me that he’s not drunk, but imagining us both naked, writhing around in the highest levels of pleasure a woman has ever known. I give him a quick once over and let my mind piece together the likelihood of a sexual encounter with him.

Without a doubt, I’d have to go on top. There’s no way he’s getting me off any other way. I’m on top, riding him like a bucking bronco ‘coz I need this shag over and done with already. I moan a bit louder and roll my eyes back into my head. Gotta make him think I’m enjoying myself. Remembering that Eastenders is on at eight, I think back over what happened in the last episode.

Shit, it distracts me too much. I start to dry up, making it almost as physically painful as it is mentally to be sat up here. I look down at him. He’s mesmerised by my boobs jostling in front of him. I buck my hips harder, making it harder for him to hold out. For fucks sake man, just cum already!

I’m bored now. I’ve had more enjoyment from eating ice on a hot day. Looking down at him, I bite my lip and run my hands over my body. Trick works. He scrabbles up, giving me a brief moment of bliss as he slips out. I daren’t look down at his manhood again. The urge not to say ‘aww, that’s cute’ had almost been too great to ignore when I first saw it.

Legs and arms fumble about until we’re finally in doggy style. I bury my face in the bedsheet and start working through my list of jobs to do at work tomorrow. He pats my clit with his hand, groaning to himself as he does so. What the fuck is he doing? He runs his fingers down to my gaping hole and spreads my lips apart as he dives inside me once again.

I let my mind wander to that hot, one-night stand who was the only one to give me multiple orgasms. Jeeze, he was good. Real good. I let my memories take over, reminding me of each gushing release he gave me. My body remembers him and begins to respond. My love juice drips from my entrance, ready for him.

But instead, the weight of the man actually behind me falls onto my back. He groans and wriggles around as he shoots his excitement into me. Quickly, I move my fingers to my clit. A few rubs with some decent pressure in the right place and I’m done. Thank fucking God.

He’s going limp already. Talk about a stud. He all but flops out. I look down to see it shrivelling up before my eyes. Thick, white blobs of his cum drip out the end of his foreskin. I think I’m going to be sick.


Walking towards the exit of the busy club, she strides up to him. He straightens himself, grinning at his win of the night.

“I hope that was as unsatisfying for you as it was for me.”

In a breeze she’s gone, the linger of her spicy perfume the only thing telling she was ever there.

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